Kursus MBI
Jasin
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Monday, July 9, 2012
Below is an excerpt from a Health Science textbook, read til the end for a real surprise. =)
"In order to persuade the public to support a particular viewpoint, environmental activists often exaggerate some risks and downplay others. By using true but misleading statements, practically any substance on earth can be made to sound like a menace to society. For example, consider the following true statements about the chemical dihydrogen monoxide (DHMO).
Actually, banning dihydrogen monoxide would be a grave mistake. Even though all of the above statements are true, human life would be impossible without DHMO-which most people just call water (H2O, DUH). =D
"In order to persuade the public to support a particular viewpoint, environmental activists often exaggerate some risks and downplay others. By using true but misleading statements, practically any substance on earth can be made to sound like a menace to society. For example, consider the following true statements about the chemical dihydrogen monoxide (DHMO).
- DHMO is a powerful solvent that can corrode many metals.
- At high temperatures, DHMO decomposes into explosive gases that can be used as rocket fuels.
- Chronic exposure to solid DHMO can cause severe tissue damage and gangrene, exposure to the liquid form causes temporary changes in the skin. Contact with DHMO vapors can cause severe burns.
- Laboratory animals fed large amounts of DHMO exhibit nausea, edema and electrolyte disturbances; only a few grams injected intravenously can be fatal.
- DHMO is used in the manufacture of pesticides, plastics, and nuclear weapons; it is also used as a general-purpose solvent and coolant in the chemical industry. Many banning industries dump DHMO into the environment. It is often stored near populated areas.
Actually, banning dihydrogen monoxide would be a grave mistake. Even though all of the above statements are true, human life would be impossible without DHMO-which most people just call water (H2O, DUH). =D
Puns
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
PMS jokes aren't funny; period.
Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
We are going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the creapes.
Velcro what a rip off!
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
PMS jokes aren't funny; period.
Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
We are going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the creapes.
Velcro what a rip off!
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
My life as a student again
It's interesting to note that being a student again is not at all easy. I detest doing assignments and I almost always sit right at the back of my classroom. When I used to be schooling, I used to sit in front and kept questioning my teachers. However, now I tend to study on my own and research as much as possible if I don't understand something. I guess adult learning styles are really different.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
ENGLISH LANGUAGE DEPARTMENT IPG KAMPUS PEREMPUAN MELAYU
Proficiency Course for English Language Teachers Cohort 1 (Phase 1) March 9 -11 2010 is being held concurrently at three separate locations, namely, Melaka Tengah at Dewan Seri Melur in our college, Jasin at PKG Serkam as well as Alor Gajah at PKG Ganun involving 90 participants.
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